Over a year ago I wrote this in a period of depression...I am hoping this is just PMS induced pity party but last night laying in bed I had a major revelation.
I am no one's favorite.
I used to be my son's favorite, he was a momma's boy and that is gone. It was sown up this weekend, never to return. I understand father and son bonding is natural and I am blessed to be married to my son's father. I am doubly blessed to have a great husabnd that makes quality time for our son and they have so much in common that I can picture these two being best friends when they are older. But this momma was a little hurt to come home from a weekend away to get a hug and then he disappeared. When I made dinner, he asked if he could eat it upstairs because his friend was online. Then he stopped and gave me the pity option. "No, I stay down here with you mom." He was giving me pity time.
I have always known I was not my daughter's favorite, I am the one who says no. Daddy does the fun stuff and mom is the bitch who keeps her from having a cell phone, time with her friends or other infractions of the mean ass mom.
Sadly my PMS mind took me into a therapy moment wondering is there something wrong with me? I am not my mom's favorite, my baby sister would be the obvious choice yet my younger brother truly gets all the special treatment no matter what. So it is hard to say. She gets most frustrated with my brother, but what constitutes a favorite?
Then for years I had the delusion that I was my daddy's little girl and that I was his favorite and that too has been shattered.
My brother's kids are partially raised separately by my parents, my mom and her husband keep one son and my dad and his girlfriend watch the other son four days a week. Which make my children not the favorite grand kids.
You would think that I would have gotten used to this earlier in life. I had a grandmother make it abundantly clear that our part of her family was the lesser line.
As a mom, I have learned that I love each of my kids in very different ways. I do not have a favorite but I do love each of them in a separate and completely different way.
... spring forward a year and I did reconcile with the grandmother who had cut me off the day her husband died and I was her granddaughter again until the day she died six months later. And every moment with her was so amazingly great, she made me feel like her favorite even if it was only for a few hours a week for a few months.
As for my kids and my parents, we cannot control how others perceive us we can only put out our true selves and if that is not enough for someone. That is fine. I don't need to be anyone's favorite except my husband and myself.
This mug is awesome and will use as a great gag Christmas gift for my grandparents without a tag. So my aunts and uncles will have to figure out who gave it. And it will be my way to see who reads my blog!!
Heavy glass and great craftsmanship, makes me #hippiehappy and proud to give as a gift.
"13 Oz. Glass Coffee Mug with a funny saying. Makes a great gift for mom or dad. A high quality mug for those who are in need of a nice new coffee or tea cup!"