Monday, May 1, 2017

Not my circus, not my monkeys... Unless I'm a monkey's uncle

Part of my growth has been to identify what are my issues, what are other people's issues and what I really need to be involved in; particularly when it comes to my stress, emotions, and my time. We are raised to think that we should do anything and everything for our family. Family first. But in a day in age when family members could steal your Care Bear or dance costumes for some herion those ties that bind really get reevaluated by the younger generations, I think. I am Generation X and I do not think blood is thicker. I have seen shit behind peoples backs and it sickens me. Then again I have had friends old and new that have been truer to me than those with my same red life-force. What makes loyalty? What earns trust? Not a last name. Not blood. Not always.

It is the interactions each time you are with that person. We all have friends or family we can go years not seeing and pick right back up like no time has passed and no love has been lost, just time. Because most interactions with them are good, happy and not negative. So getting back to the title of this blog-- who do we count as our monkeys?

My monkeys first and foremost are my kids, then my siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, parents, grandparents and Meena. She is like the Y. She counts in all categories. Friend, family. Consonant, vowel. Meena is all things. Then a few select friends and few select aunts and uncles, but not all. I have one cousin that has been loyal to me since he could talk, literally since he was a toddler he has been loyal, loving and one person I know I can call for anything. He would ask me when he was little, 'Sissy, can we talk?' And we would sit at the kitchen table and talk for hours. And we still do.

I realized in the last year that the drama and negativity of some family and friends do not have to be mine. That was hard to say no to. It is hard to separate yourself from family especially when you realize they are toxic to you and happy living. Now I am learning to find the happiness in everything which will help in dealing with these toxic people in new and happier ways that don't leave me reeling for hours later in their and my own negativity over the situation.

I thought the only way was to cut them out of my life, but that is not always possible. New ways, new life, new view.